What Should Trapped Charedim Do?

If they're not going to the army, there are other things that help.

In the last few days I received a variation of the same question from three different people in the charedi world. There are many people who, for one reason or another, are stuck in the charedi world. Either they grew up that way, or they moved to Israel and fell into that culture, and now their children are embedded in the system. Meanwhile, the events of the last ten months have made them realize that the charedi path of not sharing responsibility in a national emergency is wrong. What should they do?

For many people, depending upon their children’s age, it’s too much to expect them to suddenly pull them out of the charedi system. Some boys can be directed to one of the charedi hesder yeshiva programs, but depending on which yeshiva ketana/ yeshiva gedola they attended, this may be unrealistic - and the boys may simply not be open to it. So what can the parents do?

I can think of things that don’t help, and at least four things that do help, even if they are not anything close to a replacement to actual service.

Telling dati-leumi families that you’re davening for the soldiers doesn’t generally help. It’s usually just perceived as insulting, unless you make it absolutely clear that you recognize that this is of neglible significance relative to actual sacrifice. Davenning does have value in Judaism, but not as a replacement for service, and there is the risk that it could fool people into thinking that they are doing something that justifies not serving. Meanwhile, the notion of learning or doing mitzvos as a merit for the soldiers has no support in classical Judaism, as I’ve discussed on other occasions.

Four things that do help are as follows:

1) Acknowledge that the charedi approach needs changing. I have maintained friendships with people whose children do not serve in the IDF, because they readily agree that the charedi system is broken and lament that they got stuck in it. Perhaps it’s easier for me to be sympathetic to them, because were it not for my books being banned, I would likely have ended up in such a situation myself. There but for the grace of the Gedolim go I.

2) Give your tzedaka to organizations and institutions that support national responsibility. No more donations to charedi institutions, unless it’s those that are seeking to reform charedi society, such as the new charedi hesder yeshivos. The fact that you are shortchanging the country by not serving in the IDF means that you should balance out your debt by strengthening the part of the country that serves.

3) Don't vote for charedi parties. Even if you support and benefit from some of their policies, if you recognize that their efforts to avoid drafting and to drain the economy are wrong and dangerous, and you feel guilty about your family not participating in the war, compensate for this by strengthening parties that are not charedi (and that are not charedi-enablers like Likud and Religious Zionism have been doing).

4) Help in other ways. There are all kinds of ways to support the country at this difficult time. Even if your boys are not going to join the army, there is no reason why they should not spend their vacation time volunteering, such as on farms, rather than going on tiyulim. And not just a few hours once or twice, but a serious commitment. This is not a replacement for army service, and should not be presented or seen that way, but it’s the minimum that should be expected.

If people have other ideas, please submit them in the comments.

A full list of my posts on the topic of IDF service is at Torah and Army: The Big Index