The Delusion about Dati'im

What Many Anglo-Charedim Misbelieve

I’ve recently become aware of a remarkable phenomenon. I told some friends about it and they couldn’t believe it. But it’s true.

I discovered that there are a considerable number of Anglo-charedim, including (and perhaps especially) the more moderate ones, who are under the delusion that the dati community has no ill feeling toward them.

I first realized this when R. Mordechai Neugerschal made the ridiculous claim that dati-leumi rabbis support the decision of the charedi community not to enlist. Then someone told me that I am only fired up about charedim because my books were banned(!). When I pointed out that there are so many people who comment on my posts about how they feel the same way, this person claimed that it’s just my “fans” who’ve been taught to feel that way by me, but regular dati people are not angry with the charedi community for not serving. Another charedi person claimed that in Ramat Beit Shemesh in general, there is achdus. (I asked him whether he had asked people in the dati community if they also feel this way, but he didn’t respond.)

Then a neighbor with children in uniform told me with incredulity how a charedi woman had assured her that her own son was doing everything he could for the soldiers, by learning so hard in yeshiva and not having come home even for Shabbos for three weeks. The charedi woman had presumed that she would be comforted by this! (In the dati community, many boys spent months - in Gaza - without coming home.)

Let’s make things clear. In the past, there was a certain degree of sympathy in the dati-leumi world for the charedi community. But ever since a few weeks after October 7th, when it became clear that the charedi community did not see any reason to change their lifestyle, while the dati community has been paying an overwhelming and growing price to keep everyone safe, there is tremendous resentment and anger.

Now, of course, many Anglo dati’im are reserved and non-confrontational. Not everyone is as forthright and outspoken as I am. But I can attest that the vast majority of the dati leumi community are upset, and many are absolutely furious. I know this from personal conversations with many, many people, as well as articles and cartoons that have appeared in the dati-leumi media. In fact I have yet to meet a single dati-leumi person in my community who is not incredibly upset with the charedi community. Some of these people are extremely mild-mannered and would never dream of telling their charedi neighbors how they feel, but inside they are devastated.

A dati person who had told me for years that she is sympathetic to charedim and never wanted to hear any criticism recently told me that she cannot stand them anymore and wishes that they would all just leave the country. This woman, who had four sons in uniform, went to a charedi wedding in Kiryat Sefer that had zero mention of the war, and she was utterly appalled.

Meanwhile, a neighbor of mine, with children in uniform and charedi relatives, told me that they have been avoiding socializing with their relatives since October 7th, because it’s just too distressing. Another person in the community told me a few months ago how upset she got every Friday when she sees her neighbors’ sons coming home from yeshiva. Another person told me that they angrily walked out of a talk in shul by a charedi guest speaker who was speaking passionately on the topic of caring for everyone in the community, while not sending his children to enlist. And yet another person recently told me how livid they are to see all the charedi yeshiva students relaxing and enjoying bein hazmanim, while their son had to go back into combat yet again.

This is just a smattering of what I have heard from people over the last several months.

I think that many Israeli charedim are probably much more aware of this, because in Israeli media, dati-leumi voices are far more prominent. Makor Rishon, a leading Hebrew dati newspaper and website, has been particularly strong with its criticism of charedi society. But many Anglo-charedim are ensconced in their Mishpacha/ Ami bubble and have no idea. (Note that while Mishpacha, after some pressure, did print some articles by American mothers of soldiers, it made sure that they spoke about how “everyone has their role” whether fighting or learning in yeshiva!)

In fact, it even seems that there may be more anger in the dati world than in the secular world. In the secular world, people often don’t know much about religion, and may be under the impression that charedim have some sort of important religious lifestyle that cannot coexist with army service. But in the dati community, they know perfectly well from their own community that you can be a good religious Jew and a yeshiva student and even a Torah scholar and still participate in the IDF. And they firmly believe that fulfilling one’s responsibilities to the nation is a fundamental part of Judaism.

It’s important to break Anglo-charedim out of their delusions. It can be shocking for a person to discover that many religious people in their community, including neighbors, friends and relatives, are horrified by their way of life. Perhaps the thought may occur to them that the charedi approach might not be the authentic Torah way.

A full list of my posts on the topic of IDF service is at Torah and Army: The Big Index