27 Comments
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Yehuda Leonard Oppenheimer's avatar

You had me until I went to the link and found no such article. But, many of these things have actually been done in the past, and the opposition to responsibility is so great, that I thought it might be credible....keep up the good work

Eli Yitzchok Fine's avatar

Hey, are you related to Suss Oppenheimer? If so, there is a film about your zeydeh, and here is the review!

https://irrationalistmodoxism.substack.com/p/a-review-of-jud-su-veit-harlan-1940

Michael Sedley's avatar

You had me fooled for a bit (date notwithstanding), because some of these things have been done in the past - many decades ago when I got my Tzav Rishon, the Lishkat Hagiyus had several young Haredi men clearly faking mental illness (at least to me it looked obvious that they were faking).

To avoid the Tzar's army, it was not unheard of for young men (really children) to cut off their trigger finger or shoot themselves in the foot (and I guess according to some opinions IDF is as bad as the Tzar's army)

It was only when you got to gender changing and converting to Islam that it looked farfetched, but in the Haredi world today, just about anything is possible,.

Any way, a merry April First to all readers.

Chana Siegel's avatar

"I said, "Sarge, I wanna KILL..."..."

Joe Berry's avatar

Every Thanksgiving I still try to remember to play that song.

Michael Sedley's avatar

I was thinking more of this (which meets 2 of the criteria listed to get out of the army):

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/A3IAAOSw0edkh25b/s-l1600.jpg

Although it didn't work so well on Korea...

Ezra Brand's avatar

The closest humorous thing I found was this, at the end of the article they attempt to find the silver lining in all this:

בחורי ישיבה אשר שוחחו עם 'כיכר השבת' אומרים: "לבינתיים, למרות הפחד מהורדת התקציבים, בסה"כ נמנע ביטול תורה של אלפי לומדי תורה שנאלצו כל כמה חודשים לבזבז סדר א' שלם על התייצבות בלשכת הגיוס".

https://www.kikar.co.il/yeshiva-world/sb8vaj

Translation by ChatGPT4 (much better than Google translate):

"Yeshiva students who spoke with 'Kikar HaShabbat' say: "For now, despite the fear of budget cuts, the cancellation of Torah study for thousands of Torah scholars, who were forced every few months to waste a whole first seder on appearing at the recruitment office, has overall been avoided."

Gillian Kay's avatar

You had me until gender changing

Dov Kagan's avatar

How sweet. An April fools article at the expense of people you disagree with. How totally unexpected from you. This is a truly vile article.

David Ilan's avatar

So is their cowardice

Eli B's avatar

Is their real position any less shocking? Advocating mass escapes to Chu"l rather than CH"V helping their brethren fight for EY?

Simon Goulden's avatar

Please tell me this is an April Fool's article. Please!

Dan Klein's avatar

Of course it is! But it did have me going for a bit.

Ariel's avatar

Yes let’s all neglect a mitzwah de’oraita to help conquer the land to sit in a cave and hide

Mikhail Olivson's avatar

The world we live in, every day is April Fools

Nahum's avatar

Don't give em any ideas 😀

Hillel Davis's avatar

Sorry but really not appropriate in these difficult times of high tension to run a joke like this.

Joel's avatar

🤦 I fell for it.

test's avatar

"There is an additional approach to be employed, which may seem strange to some"

Is that a deliberate double liner?

Jew Well's avatar

I was expecting something about animals like you usually do.

Still quite funny.

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Apr 1, 2024
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Mordechai Gordon's avatar

Either that or google translate is has made an excursion into extremely creative translation and it's AI is trying to foment civil war via whipping up hatred between communities.