Junior goes to a Charedi-Leumi gan, where the truly wonderful ganenet (she teaches Midrashim to the kids, but stresses that they are not peshat!) is an Israeli Sephardi. Today, she gave out a red thread to each parent, along with a page of segulos, with an earnest description of how these are invaluable segulos for our child's chinnuch. I present the page to you; be sure to read the second part.

Words fail me.