Crazy Crocodile Cretins

The latest insanity

No, this is not a Purim joke. If only it was.

Israel’s Minister of National Security, Itamar Ben-Gvir, sent officials from the Prison Service to the crocodile farm at Hamat Gader in order to explore how to create a prison for terrorists surrounded by crocodiles to prevent escapes. They observed the care, feeding, and safety protocols involved in maintaining crocodiles, and explored the costs involved.

It’s hard to overstate just how ridiculous this is. There’s a reason why the thousands of prisons around the world do not use crocodiles. This is real life, not a James Bond movie. We have vastly more effective ways of keeping people in. Electric fences. Armed guards. Attack dogs. Walls.

Sure, crocodiles can be dangerous. Around a thousand people are killed by crocodiles every year in Africa. But do you know how many times every year people go into rivers in Africa and are not attacked by crocodiles? Billions!

The Land of Israel itself, as I discuss in my new book The Lions of Zion, used to have wild crocodiles. There were marshes that were home to crocodiles until as recently as the early twentieth century. It didn’t stop people from living there!

In response to the torrent of criticism, Ben-Gvir claimed that he is following a creative precedent set by the United States, which has a prison in Florida known as “Alligator Alcatraz.” Of course if this credulous cretin would have spent a moment looking into it, he would have discovered that Alligator Alcatraz is known by that name simply because it is located in the Florida wetlands that are home to alligators, not because alligators are actually used to prevent escapes!

I wish I could say that I’m surprised, but I’m not. This is a government minister who builds his popularity and his career on braggadacio rather than on serious, thought-out strategies that weigh up the pros and the cons in every situation. It’s a pity that so many people fall for it, because it’s an extremely harmful and dangerous approach. I’d rather take my chances with crocodiles.

Note: This picture was taken many years ago. I no longer wear a jacket and tie when I wrestle crocodilians.

Reminder: I will be visiting South Florida (Miami, Hollywood and Boca Raton) next month, not to do more alligator wrestling, but for speaking engagements and meetings with museum supporters. If you live there and you’re interested in arranging or attending presentations, please be in touch.