Conversations with Collectors

Scenario 1:
Collector: Hi, I'm collecting for Yeshivas ***** ******
Householder: Okay. Listen, I help institutions in one of two ways. Most I help in a small way, but some I help in a big way. Would you like your yeshivah to be in the second category?
Collector: Sure, that would be great!
Householder: Okay, then can you answer a few questions about your yeshivah?
Collector: Sure! Fire away.
Householder: Do the students at your yeshivah learn seriously?
Collector: Yes, absolutely!
Householder: Do they sincerely believe that learning Torah is the greatest thing that a person can do?
Collector: Definitely!
Householder: The yeshivah doesn't encourage the guys to go to college, right?
Collector: No way!
Householder: And the yeshivah encourages guys to learn in kollel, right?
Collector: Yes, of course!
Householder: And the yeshivah doesn't encourage them to go the army, right?
Collector: Of course not!
Householder: The yeshivah believes that the greatest way that they can help Am Yisrael is by learning Torah, right?
Collector: Yes! Yes!
Householder: Okay, fine. So I'm going to help your yeshivah in a big way...
Collector: Great!
Householder: ...I'm going to learn Torah.
(There is silence for a few moments.)
Collector: What?
Householder: I'm going to learn Torah. You said that this is the greatest way that one can help others.
Collector: But... but... there also needs to be financial help!
Householder: Oh, absolutely! But others can do that. I want to help in the greatest way, just like you guys do. So I'm going to learn Torah for you!
Scenario 2:
Collector: Hi, I'm collecting for Yeshivas ***** ******
Householder: Okay. Did your yeshivah go the anti-draft Atzeres Tefillah and say Tehillim?
Collector: Yes, of course!
Householder: Does your yeshivah say Tehillim or a Misheberach for the IDF?
Collector: Um, no...
Householder: So you agree that we need an army, but you protest sharing the burden of army service, and do not even care about those who do bear it. How can you expect others to share in your burden, and care about you?
Scenario 3:
Collector: Purim sameach! I'm collecting for Yeshivas ***** ******
Householder: I'm sorry, I'm not donating.
Collector: But it's a mitzvah to give tzedakah!
Householder: It's a mitzvah to give charity. To the poor. To people who are trying to make ends meet, but can't. Purim is an opportunity to raise money for these people, who struggle to pay for a Purim seudah; it's not a time to collect for institutions.
Collector: But supporting Torah study is the greatest tzedakah!
Householder: Supporting poor people who are Torah scholars is a great tzedakah. Not facilitating a movement of people who are deliberately choosing not to work, against the mainstream, traditional view in Judaism.
 - BUT -Â
These kinds of conversations should probably be had with people who run charedi society, and/or with adults, not with teenagers who are innocently knocking at doors because they have been taught to collect for their institutions. On the other hand, there are precious few opportunities to actually engage with people from that society on these matters. But on the third hand, adversarial one-upmanship is unlikely to change people. So, if you are thinking of actually implementing one of these conversations, please bear these points in mind!
(NOTE: If you would like to give tzedakah in the best possible way, I recommend Lemaan Achai - they focus on getting people back on their feet. They help people from every community - secular, charedi, and dati-leumi, even though they have unfortunately been banned from collecting in some shuls where they help people. Check out their website, http://lemaanachai.org)