Tuesday, February 22, 2022

Operation Edible Squid

Can anyone help the museum with the following transportation missions: 

  • A device for making edible kosher squid, from Berlin to the US (or to Israel)

  • A suitcase of Noah's Arks, from NY/NJ to Israel

  • A Noah's Ark cuckoo clock, from Pittsburgh to anywhere except Pittsburgh

  • A special ultraviolet light for making scorpions fluoresce, from the UK to Israel

  • A suitcase of Noah's Arks, from Atlanta to Israel 

Thank you!

17 comments:

  1. I think these are the kinds of things that will not go through the airport baggage scanners without being eyeballed. Then comes the mandatory pat down. They say don't take packages from strangers. As far as the "device for making edible kosher squid" goes - hard no.

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  2. This is one of those "guess which one is the prank" things, right? I'm guessing #3, but I'm willing to entertain #4.

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  3. Squid is a non kosher fish species. So I suppose you mean making artificial Squid. Sort of like bakon bits. Yes these things can be "kosher" however, this enters the realm of "pervert-with the permission of the Torah." (נבל ברשת התורה)

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    Replies
    1. The Gemara has a whole list of kosher things that taste like treyf things. There's nothing wrong with that.

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    2. It's amazing what different people's senstivities are. Sure, we follow halacha, and let's say some makes a phony squid that is absolutely kosher (not that I have any idea what RNS is talking about), but Inquire is turned off by this. To compare: we (Orthodox Jews) are comfortable with soy cheese or tofu meat utilized to create a fake cheeseburger or fleishig lasagna - and yet there are less religious Jews out there who admittedly do not keep everything, yet for them, a fake cheeseburger is too much like real bassar v'chalav and so they won't eat it! (Yes, this preference was relayed personally.)

      What would we call kosher squid? Kula-mari? Calamiriam?

      Of course, leaving naval birshus HaTorah aside, having not grown up eating squid, I think I would be a little off-put by ANY squidlike food on my plate. I imagine the texture would be worse than that of mushrooms! Naval indeed...

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    3. Nachum, the Gemarah speaks in terms of permitted, not in terms of l'chatchilah.

      Yosef, meat and dairy separately are both inherently kosher, the issue is squid which is never kosher. Trying to mimic unclean food is an unclean idea...

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    4. "this enters the realm of "pervert-with the permission of the Torah." (נבל ברשת התורה)"

      Really? Care to cite any sources for that.

      The original source, the Ramban, applies that to a person who eats excessive amounts of glatt kosher meat and glatt kosher wine. Go to any wedding smorgasbord and you can see plenty of that.

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    5. Inquire, the shibuta was a standard Shabbat dish. That's called l'chatchila.

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    6. Inquire, hast thou never come across Bacos?

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  4. Re Number 4, there is no "special ultraviolet light". It either is ultraviolet light or not. And these can be very cheaply purchased on Aliexpress. See https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005003633013516.html?spm=a2g0o.productlist.0.0.4ca3235aNRy8Jo&algo_pvid=a304c9c0-49b7-4ad5-ba9b-90013fe1f824&algo_exp_id=a304c9c0-49b7-4ad5-ba9b-90013fe1f824-3&pdp_ext_f=%7B%22sku_id%22%3A%2212000026580306096%22%7D&pdp_pi=-1%3B2.08%3B-1%3B-1%40salePrice%3BUSD%3Bsearch-mainSearch for an example. Only $2 and free shipping to Israel and usually arrives in a month.

    Here's another larger one that plugs into the wall for $8.50

    https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005003633013516.html?spm=a2g0o.productlist.0.0.4ca3235aNRy8Jo&algo_pvid=a304c9c0-49b7-4ad5-ba9b-90013fe1f824&algo_exp_id=a304c9c0-49b7-4ad5-ba9b-90013fe1f824-3&pdp_ext_f=%7B%22sku_id%22%3A%2212000026580306096%22%7D&pdp_pi=-1%3B2.08%3B-1%3B-1%40salePrice%3BUSD%3Bsearch-mainSearch

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  5. I live in Pittsburgh. How can I be of help to get the Noah's ark cuckoo clock to you?

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    Replies
    1. He just needs you to take it out of Pittsburgh...

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    2. Just saw this. Is the offer still available? I am happy to help

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  6. About the squid, it seems that some of your readers have forgotten this post: http://www.rationalistjudaism.com/2018/08/i-cant-believe-its-not-treife.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed, a total meshugas, if ever there was one.

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  7. The sad thing about UV light and scorpions is that the lamp "cures" their chitinous exoskeleton making it difficult or impossible to break out of it and grow.

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