An Official Denial

Hassan Firouzabadi, the former chief-of-staff of Iran’s armed forces and senior military advisor to the Supreme Leader, said yesterday that Western spies had used lizards such as chameleons to spy on his country’s nuclear program, because their skin “attracts atomic waves”. Actually, the skin of lizards does not attract atomic waves. Perhaps General Firousabadi was getting mixed up with the recent fascinating revelation that the skin of chameleons glows under ultraviolet light. The Biblical Museum of Natural History officially denies that any of our chameleons or other lizards have been involved in spying on Iran.