|A treasured memory from eighteen years ago - |
on a canoe with my dad, sipping from coconuts,
during a father-son trip to Mombasa, Kenya.
I decided to deliver a shiur in his honor, for family and friends. However, when my family were planning this event, we realized that if it were to be held tonight, one of my sisters would not be able to make it, due to a scheduling conflict. I therefore said that we should hold the event tomorrow night.
"But that's not actually the date of the yahrzeit!" said someone near and dear to me. "It won't have the proper effect for his neshamah!"
This is, I believe, a terrific example of the difference between the rationalist and mystical worldviews. According to the mystical worldview, our actions serve to manipulate various metaphysical energies. If they are not done in exactly the "right" way, then they don't have any effect. According to the rationalist worldview, on the other hand, our actions are not manipulating any metaphysical energies. The date of a person's passing is a meaningful and appropriate time to honor their memory. If it's done a day late, in order to better accommodate the family, that honors their memory more, not less.
This also relates to the fundamental nature of what one does for the deceased, a topic that I examined in detail upon the passing of my dear mother-in-law, Anne Samson, of blessed memory - see my essay, "What Can One Do For Someone Who Has Passed Away?" In brief, the mystical viewpoint, of very recent origin, is that one elevates the soul of the deceased by doing mitzvos whose reward is transferred to their mitzvah-account. The classical and rationalist view, on the other hand, is that by doing memorial events we honor their memory, and by performing good deeds we become a credit to their influence.
Dad, I love you dearly, and I miss you more than ever. I'm sure you would understand why we are doing the shiur a day late. Because amongst the many good qualities that you taught me, one of them was common sense!